Donde esta el Superman?

Once, last year, I dropped my wife, who was off to a conference, off at the airport.

I had drove her car and after seeing her off went back to the parking lot. After waiting for some people to walk by behind me I pulled out and then put the car in drive and started going. At this point a white car on my right was backing up and I thought it was going to stop but instead rammed into the side of the car, smashing and denting the rear right passenger door area.

Pedestrians returning from the airport saw the incident and walked quickly by us.

The car that hit me had Mexican license plates and a woman got out. She was very apologetic and said it was her fault. In broken English and some Spanish (which I speak brokenly) she explained that she had just put her daughter on a plane to Texas and was on her way back home to Mexico (across the border).

In my broken Spanish I said: listen, you stay here lady, I need to call the cops and make a report.

She: No, no, no cops please. Listen, you come to Mexico next week and my cousin will fix your car for free, I'll give you the address and you just come over there and we'll do it.

Me: No way. Stay here.

I walked over to the taxi stand where some slumped over man with a CB radio on his shoulder was directing the line of people waiting to get into cabs.

Me: Listen, there's been an accident, my car was hit and the lady is still over there, can you call the police?

Him: Um, hey, go over to that change machine and press the help button and talk to the people.
I walked over to the change machine and pressed the button a bunch of times. A pissed off lady answered from the machine:

She: What?

Me: There's been an accident and my car was hit in the parking lot. Can you call the police?

She: What parking lot are you in?

I looked around and told her.

She: ok, let me call my supervisor and call the harbor police, you don't have a cell phone?

Me: No.

I went back to the Mexican lady and we talked a little in broken SPanglish/Englespanol.

I saw her license and wrote down her number, as well as her car's license plate number and make and model. She gave me her phone number in Mexico too.

She was trying a new solution on me.

She: Ok listen, you get your car fixed, then you call me in Mexico, I'll bring the cash to you here in this city. Let's see... do you know the Mall? I know the mall, ok, we will meet in front of Victoria's Secret in the mall next weekend and I'll bring you the money.

Me: No.

No cop showed up after 40 minutes so I went back to the taxi man, who didn't want to help me.

Him: Um, let me talk to my supervisor.

He did his little walkie talkie thing on his shoulder and his supervisor told him he'd call the harbor police.

I went back to the car and the lady was like: um, I'm leaving, see you.

I had her info and wasn't in the mood to tackle her on this side of the border so I watched her go.
30 minutes later a patrol car pulls up.

Some lazy, tall cop gets out, shines his flashlight on my car (it's bashed in completely), he asks if I'm ok and I say that I am. Then he gets in his car and says he's going to talk to his supervisor about what to do. He talks to someone then comes back.

Him: Let me see that phone number, a buddy of mine speaks Spanish and can call it.

I give him the paper but there's no answer on the Mexican line, it's out of service, fake number, something predictable.

Him: Well, it looks like she pulled a fast one on you. Let me talk to my supervisor.

He leaves and gets back in his car and then comes back.

Him: Well listen, since it's a non-injury incident and since you got some information from her in good faith it's not a hit and run, even though she left. So I can't write a report about it. Call your insurance company and tell them that you were driving forward. I got jacked once because I told my insurance company that I was still in reverse and they said it was partially my fault, so if you were driving forward it won't be your fault.

Me: I see, thanks.

I get home and call my insurance provider (AAA). They say that since I was driving forward the blame is on the other lady, but since I didn't get her insurance number I have to pay a $250 deductable and they'll pay the rest. They say that if they can find the lady's insurance provider in Mexico that they'll pay us back the $250.

They follow up months later with a note: The lady doesn't have insurance so we can't pay you back the $250. If you like, you can attempt to take her to small claims court.

(Is there an International Small Claims Court somewhere in the Netherlands??).

Moral of the story:

1. Nobody wants to work and will do anything they can to get out of being responsible.

2. If you are in an accident, call an ambulence, claim pains and everything, call 911, shriek and cry, file a personal injury suit against the airport, the police, the Mexican government, president Bush, Honda, everyone. Most of all, lie about everything you can, then the cops will come and make a report, the taxi man will call the police, and the Mexican lady will not escape across the border and you will get your great rewards for being such a good member of society.

3. You're screwed, drink a beer and relax.